It’s the time of year for gatherings. From holiday parties with coworkers and clients, to Christmas dinner with family, to ringing in the new year with friends.

All the cocktail conversations means lots of questions to answer. How have you been, how old is your kid now, how’s work, what’s keeping you busy these days??? Us introverts are not much for small talk and so when I saw this article about an ingenious FAQ handout, I was inspired. No I didn’t create a handout, but here’s what my mommy version would say.

The following FAQs are provided to save me from coming up with yet another benign answer to the same question over and over again. Instead, I’ve provided the real answers and ask that you read these and skip to your next question.

1. How have you been?
My back hurts from lugging a toddler around. My immune system is shot, so I’ve had like 20 colds. And considering I didn’t sleep for a year, I’ve been better.

2. How’s work? Are you back full-time?
Work is work. Keeps me sane and stimulated, but not my number one priority anymore. Yes, I went back to work when she was 10 weeks old. Yes, I work full-time. Yes, I would rather work part-time. No, I don’t want to stay home. Yes it’s hard to be a full-time working mommy. See my blog post about it.

3. Still running?
I do, but not nearly as much as I’d like. I’m either too busy, too tired, too sick, or too sore because having a baby destroys your core strength, which leads to all kinds of aches and pains.

4. How old is she now? Thinking about another one?
She’s 18 months and I think another one would kill me. No I’m not kidding. I’ve always wanted just one kid. No she doesn’t NEED a sibling…or a dog. I think being an only child is just fine.

5. What else is new?
Did you notice I have a toddler that is trying to scale the window treatments? Between sleeping, feeding myself and her, working, trying to exercise and keeping her from killing herself…I don’t I have time for anything else. What’s new….you’re looking at it.

So what’s up with you?